The Morning News

I’ve been drinking my water out of my popcorn bowl today. I guess it’s not necessarily a popcorn bowl it’s really a multi-purpose thing. I just call it a popcorn bowl because my dad always made huge amounts of popcorn in a similar sized bowl when I was little. But now to me any big bowl is a popcorn bowl, be it my dads’ metal ones or my current rippled white plastic one. When I went to grad it I thought, for a second, myself kind of intuitive and creative and became a little too pleased with myself. I was thirsty and had been looking over my kitchen table/stove/counter area for a clean glass and was not finding anything. I did find stuff but everything was dirty and although it was a perfectly good time to do my dishes, all of a sudden I felt my creative self come bubbling up and didn’t want to do such a mundane thing like washing my dishes. I mean I’ve had the circular cup wash technique down now for a while and it’s been brain numbing ever since. So after not finding any clean glasses my eyes stuck onto my wooden mortar and pedestal, really only the pedestal part. It’s my garlic press and my friends always make fun of its size and then make fun of me for having it. I began to hear them laughing in the background of my mind and realized that it was kind of small. I mean for my huge thirst going on. I’d been in El Seibo all morning without my Nalgene. And I’ve been using my big white popcorn bowl as a glass ever since I’ve gotten home.

In all this the last question you may be asking is why I was in El Seibo. Being in El Seibo is the most unassuming and normal part of everything I just said. I go to El Seibo frequently and if I’ve ever talked to you on the phone it’s been from El Seibo. It’s the closest town to me that has all kinds of good stuff and necessities. Anyway, I was there today for a really simple errand (diligencia in Spanish which sounds way too important for such a task). I had to talk with the store owner who sells the newspapers in the town. But I was dreading it so much! It was that big black cloud hanging over my day. It’s all part of this small idea I had about two months ago, and is a pretty fitting example of how so many things go here, not all, but very many.

So we have this new tech center with some computers and a small library in Pedro Sanchez. And what do libraries include but books, magazines, and newspapers right? Well I decided that it should receive a daily newspaper as the newspaper doesn’t even come to Pedro Sanchez and one has to pay to travel to El Seibo if they want to read it. Being a once and a while reader of newspapers myself this had been an inconvenience to me on a few occasions. So I told my idea to a friend who is in charge of the tech center and she agreed with me and thought we should do it. It was going to be a whole community thing where we asked the colmados for monetary support and get the guagua drivers organization to provide the transportation for our lone ranger newspaper. Well two months later, three different copies of two different letters, talking to everyone and their brother with both saying no in a very indirect way, and many miles on the run around track for me I laid my eyes on a copy of HOY in the tech center today. And people were just throwing her around like she didn’t matter. I was slightly taken aback. I guess I will be the only one in town throwing a party tonight for her arrival. That’s cool though. Whatever.

The whole thing has really surprised me even when I know it shouldn’t have. After a year I still think want to believe things can happen as they do in the states. I mean I even got the mayor involved in this one until he lead me on for a week and I smartened up. It wasn’t just the time it took but it was frustrating and even a slick an emotional punch to the face. Having people tell you no, they don’t want to help out is bad, but to have people look you in the eyes and say yes, then do nothing, is worse. Who do I look to if I can’t look in someone’s eyes for an honest answer and a small commitment? Many times with this and with other projects I have going on I have been feeling my sphere of influence coming up short. But how can I move anything when I am pushing up against history, culture, and peoples own personal feelings as a result of their poverty. And the effort I expend can be tolling in more ways then one on my mind and spirit. This is why all the stuff about community participation and empowerment is so true because without these and their recognizing a need and a better possible outcome I am really fighting a uphill battle that I will inevitably loose or wear myself out at way beforehand. I’ve been reading this development book that my friend Heidi sent me and it’s been perfect for me in timing and its relevant ideas (thanks Heidi!) It’s called Walking with the Poor. I’m not sure if its punch can be felt outside this environment but go ahead and give it a try if you’d like.

Well I’m getting thirsty, understandably so, after eating one of the cardboard tasting nutrition bars mom brought down. Maybe I´ll use a straw to drink out of that big popcorn bowl this time. Less spillage action.